Little interest has been given to painting a broader picture of men’s relation tocaring and care giving activities and when it has, it has often tended to upholdstereotypic notions regarding men’s attitudes to caring activities. This articleexplores older men’s account of becoming and being primary caregivers as a resultof unexpected life events. By interviewing eleven older men in three focus groupsessions questions about masculinity and the cultural understanding about beingolder men in relation to caregiving and support was approached. In our result wedescribe the caregiving men’s social and personal changes as a consequences ofcaregiving as a defoliation process where the difficulty in upholding relationshipswith unconventional men and the caregiving men’s difficulty in upholdingrelations with people, who embrace hegemonic ideals about masculinity, is framingtheir lives as caregiving men.From this position caregiving men reach out and connect with other men whoshare the same experiences. We suggest that in the network of men who are, and isabout to become, primary caregivers, the principle of “paying it forward” seems tobe understood as the most valued support. Paying it forward help the men touphold their caring experience as valuable and gives the men a position as skilled.