Protocols to create metal-organic framework (MOF)/polymer composites for separation, chemical capture, and catalytic applications currently rely on relatively slow solution-based processing to form single MOF composites. Here, we report a rapid, high-yield sorption-vapor method for direct simultaneous growth of single and multiple MOF materials onto untreated flexible and stretchable polymer fibers and films. The synthesis utilizes favorable reactant absorption into polymers coupled with rapid vapor-driven MOF crystallization to form high surface area (>250 m²/g_composite) composites, including UiO-66-NH₂, HKUST-1, and MOF-525 on spandex, nylon, and other fabrics. The resulting composites are robust and maintain their functionality even after stretching. Stretchable MOF fabrics enable rapid solid-state hydrolysis of the highly toxic chemical warfare agent soman and paraoxon-methyl simulant. We show that this approach can readily be scaled by solution spray-coating of MOF precursors and to large area substrates.